I remember a Director in one of my previous jobs saying to our team: "we are all replaceable and life just goes on". It was meant to explain we could always recruit new staff when one would leave the company, which is technically true and quite reassuring from a "company performance" point of view, yet wasn't exactly pleasant to hear and somehow, it didn't felt accurate to me.
If we are so easily replaceable, what is our true added value?
If we breakdown life into tasks, duties, actions and moments, everything is moving forward smoothly as long as the job gets done. Whoever is behind an action is either helpful, kind and/or paid for it. This approach to life is an efficient 'ticking to-do list's boxes' one: "find a travel buddy for July", "finish the budget for next semester", "go on a date", "get them flowers", etc.
Could someone else do your job, travel with your friend, offer those flowers? Technically, yes.
Could someone else do everything you did that brought you were are today and led you to those lists? Not so sure.
I have heard many times people around me saying they feel invisible, especially in big cities and big companies: truth is, if we look at life as a list of actions, tasks and to-do lists, there is always a way to replace us. In some cases it is a very good thing: for example in a company, it allows us to aim at a new job, to go on vacation - colleagues can help or replace if needed. We are not leaving irresponsable empty voids behind us.
However it can end up making us feel like just another useful item: great, yet always replaceable. Available, yet one option among others. And the part of us that fought to get a job when all odds were again us, that spent a childhood dreaming of a specific group of friends or relationship and finally made that dream come true, or that wanted to do better than the previous generation: that part, that specific layer of who we are, is left unacknowledged, when this is the layer that gives value and purpose to what we achieve.
If we break down life in 3 layers - essence, existence and value - the latter takes us beyond to-do lists and gives us access to a bigger picture. It is were our motivations and uniqueness lie.
If we break down life in 3 layers - essence, existence and value - the latter takes us beyond to-do lists and gives us access to a bigger picture. It is were our motivations and uniqueness lie.
Let's look at those 3 layers:
- The essence layer is the human being in us - alone or in a group, whatever we do or don't do, we are human beings. This is the level we take an interest in when it comes to human rights: we are by essence equals, we are by essence deserving of respect, etc.
- The existence layer is all those actions and tasks we perform - the to-do lists we were talking about earlier: there is something tangible about it and it holds a social dimension. When we make a speech, deliver work, go on a date, drive, list a company on financial markets, etc., someone else can potentially witness it.
- The value layer is our perception of the worth and importance of all that exists or might come to exist: this is where aspirations and motivations are formed, where our desire to materialise our dreams is fully expressed. The definitions of our values and priorities are found here. This is therefore the layer that is triggered when we feel invisible, unacknowledged or when we are feeling like a replaceable item and nothing more.
How to activate the value layer and remind yourself you are irreplaceable?
- What are your core values? get a list of values, compare them to each other 2 by 2 in order to get a ranking (e.g. "justice" and "reliability" are important to me, but if I have to pick just one it would be "justice", etc.)
- What is your bucket list? try and understand the story behind each entry in that list: it tells something about you no one else have - like a biography. E.g.: you want to visit Peru not because of its beautiful historical sites but because this is where your parents met and you love that story. You want to go to the concert of a famous band because they are the reason why you are working in the music industry today. You want this specific car because for you it is the definition of success since you were 8, etc.
- Imagine all your basic needs are provided for for the rest of your life (roof, food, bills paid - you and family) and then $100.000 is given to you, to be spent entirely in 24 hours (or you lose it all): how do you allocate that money? It will complete your personal value list by showing your current drivers and/or what is always going to be an important/ urgent aspect of all your actions.
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