Do you sometimes feel like some things are taking too much time and waiting starts to feel so unbearable, you start questioning your own decisions and you would like to rush and finish at any costs?
Or maybe deadlines are pressuring you? The quality of your work and actions is suffering from it and life feels like a constant rush leaving you behind, as if being in control was impossible.
Impatient, pressured by time or rushing, you start to be under the impression that you are always behind yourself and you will never really get what you want, that "easy does it" will never be a moto for you. You know the pain of waiting for too long, of delays, of never ending issues, or of deadlines you met without knowing how. Maybe you are sacrificing your dreams and expectations, hoping that discounting or abandoning them will finally get you out of this zone of discomfort and bring about solutions.
Time is playing with your nerves and you are suffering from an inadequacy to the pace of your own life.
When we are experiencing lots of difficulties in our relationship to time, we tend to rush for external solutions such as:
- asking around what others would do or recommend and immediately opt for it without weighting pros and cons,
- comparing ourselves to others with anxiety,
- seeking clues in stressful situations we or others have been through,
- trying all sorts of solutions we don't really believe in but that all seem "reasonable", "recommended" - or if not, we are desperate enough to try,
- discounting, changing, abandoning our goals, hoping those sacrifices will be worth it.
All those actions or not necessarly bad options but they take us outside of ourselves and don't address the inner part of the matter: how we feel about it all, what we would truly want for ourselves right now, and why time is playing with our nerves and not being an ally.
We are at the same time agitated doers and passive observers of what will happen next. We are basically giving away our power due to the pressure and weight of time passing by.
For example, let's say you start your own business: your ideas are excellent, you have discussed with experts about it, you are materially organised and ready. You set up the structure, start producing and advertising your products or services, and all starts to go wrong. Delays occurs, new regulations force you to change your offer, partners leave you, distribution is weak, etc. You knew it wouldn't be easy and you remain professional, yet issues keep cumulating, anxiety rises, and under constant stress you start rushing to find solutions or keep waiting for a brilliant idea, impatient to find it. Anxiety and stress reduce your quality of life. You logically do the external work: consulting experts, organising a tree of solutions, reviewing your options, communicating, changing and adjusting to your daily reality, eating better, working out, yet nothing works and because you have to make decisions for your business, you feel pressured by time and start looking at dates, deadlines, length of time before important meetings, etc. with anxiety.
Are you doing the internal work? What are the emotions that are triggered when you think of the timing of everything? If you knew all issues would be solved on time, how would you feel, what would you think, how would you behave? Is the priority truly about "seeing the end of it", or is it your relationship to yourself in the present moment - your emotions, your aspirations, your beliefs' system - that is neglected?
How can you improve your relationship to the present moment?
- Snap out of it by focusing on your body (getting out of your anxious ideas) with meditation, breathing exercises or sport: if you have implemented all the "logical" solutions and nothing goes according to plan, it is time to disconnect yourself from this "rushing/ waiting" tension and the self-doubt and indecision that comes with it.
- Journal and question your beliefs about deadlines and/ or waiting: if you don't meet a deadline, will it be unacceptable, or catastrophic, or manageable? breathe into the worse case scenario and step back: is it that stressful? is what others expect from you at a certain age or time good for you and in adequacy with your aspirations? if you can't get what you want now, or if the deadline is proving impossible to meet, what else could you do to be happy or successful? what will truly matter about your current life in 5 or 10 years time (or more)?
- Stop being a time slave and try to not look at clocks for 24 hours every week (ideally) or every 10 days: that is a massive challenge but it is important to do 24 hours in a row, because 24h means your only points of reference will be the sun, the moon and your observations on your physical environment and your inner clock. This inner clock is your most important connection to the present moment and your own priorities. This practice will help you rediscover this fundamental aspect of yourself.
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