Remember Omi's song "Cheerleader"? "Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader ..."Maybe some of you are lucky like Omi! If it is not the case, there is one person directly available for limitless supply of support and enthusiasm: yourself.
Here are a few ideas to become your own biggest fan and feel supported and cared for:
Note that regularity is key: it is best to do a little bit everyday (starting with as little as 1 minute per day) than 3 days in a row and then nothing for 3 months.
Focus on the positive:
- acknowledge your success and achievements every week, even the smallest ones, even when there is also disappointment. E.g. you didn't win a game but nonetheless did your best, and maybe even developed new strategies and skills: all this is worth celebrating. You wanted to change your diet but turned back to old habits aside from one meal: focus on that meal.
- Journal it. It doesn't need to take more than 5 minutes daily, but regularity is key: when you focus on the positive, you are not allowing discouragement to take hold of you. When you switch on the light, there is no more room for darkness.
Fix your posture:
- if you look at @ketnipz Instagram account, you will find a post on how to fix your posture (August 2021), in which his main character Beans ask if you are a banana or a lamp desk. If your physical condition allows it, stick out your chest, smile, look at people in the eyes when you talk to them: if it is a massive challenge for you today, start with yourself in front of your mirror, than a few steps in a neighbourhood in which you won't turn back, then with someone your trust, etc. Baby steps!
- exercise: this doesn't mean a marathon but daily walks, a few movements every morning or every night, stretching regularly, etc. It will progressively help you find your relaxed and confident posture.
- relax: take a bath, do nothing, go in the sun, etc. Observe how your body is landed: do you notice tensions? bring your attention to it and see if you can help ease the stress. Relaxed confidence and tensions can't coexist: every time your reduce the tension, you regain a relaxed control of your movements and it shows.
Fix your diet:
- what you eat influences your mood: have a look at the amazing instagram account of Dr Hyman @drmarkhyman, Doctor and key founder of Functional Medicine (holistic and medical approach that tackles root causes of health issues, based on studies). Or discover the incredible work of Alisa Vitti, founder of FLO, on how food can change your hormones and a lot of conditions. It is not about the usual strict diet but rather a collaboration with your body, celebrating healthy food and doing your best.
- Bring colours and variety: cheerleaders are always happy and full of energy. Get all sorts of colours in your salad, try new recipes and new ingredients, visit a local fresh market, etc.
Reward and Encourage, don't restrict:
It's easier to understand that idea with food: if coffee-donuts is often your lunch and changing it is excruciating, compromise. Decide that you will have a salad with 3 different green ingredients in it before every donut, as many times as you wish. You are not restricting or punishing, you are encouraging healthy habits. Then after a while add an apple before, etc.
- same for many other things: if you wish to change a few bad habits to become this person you dream to be but it is proving difficult, first pair this bad habit with a new positive one.
This is the same logic of bringing light into darkness: you are bringing a tiny part of your attention on something good and allowing this light to first exist and then grow - eventually grow enough to take all the space.
Change your inner speech:
- what do you talk about with yourself? how do you talk about yourself? Are you kind, encouraging, supportive? Would a cheerleader talk o you like that?
- challenge your negative thoughts - have a look at the following article: https://www.confiself.com/post/challenge-your-negative-thoughts with the amazing Katie Byron technique explained in it.
Do you (and forget comparisons):
- as Leon Festinger analysed in his Social Comparison Theory (1954), 'people compare themselves with others because they want to gauge themselves accurately, especially when objective criteria are not available'. Can it really be accurate? Remember that you might not know their entire stories and their struggles, but you know yours. You don't have their skills, but you have yours. Only what is yours and being you will help you reach your goals.
Give up the idea that comparing yourself to others will give you an accurate evaluation of yourself (skills, success, etc): too many factors are unknown, you will end up disappointed.
- read famous people biographies and see how different we all are: look at how life was for famous people before they became famous. It will tell you how much potential you have that others will never have since they are not you.
- Find 10 things you like about yourself physically, professionally, personally, in your social interactions, etc. Keep listing your qualities every now and then and look at your weaknesses with compassion and kindness, like a good friend would do. Love yourself.
#confiself#innervoice#personaldevelopment#focusonthegood#confidence#mindful#grateful#selfempowerment#selfawareness
Comments